Beware the School Experts
I once had a school psychiatrist tell my wife and I that she knew our child better than we did after simply reading the material contained in the school’s file and observing the child on several occasions. That’s right, she never even spoke or interviewed the child and yet she decided that she knew more about our child then we did and she even admonished us that what we wanted for our child was harmful. This was the one of the worst moments in my experience being an advocate for my child. My wife and I were surrounded by a bevy of teachers, guidance personnel and administrators all confirming the psychiatrist’s opinion and suggested course of action. My wife was in tears, I was conflicted and yet, ironically, steeled by her outrageous claims. Because there is no absolute way to know if what you are doing will produce the hoped for results when advocating for your child the process is fraught with second guessing, self incriminations and doubt. We stood our ground, maintained our demand for services to be included in our child’s IEP and finally the school relented. As we were leaving and wondering whether or not we had made the right decision for our child the psychiatrist approached us in the lobby and castigated us further for going against her recommendations. Her amazing audacity and callous disregard for our opinions instilled in me an intense hated of her stupidity.
The intervening years since we made those demands were racked with fear of failure and concern for our child. Fortunately the demands we made that day have worked to the advantage of our child and we are extremely pleased with the results.
The point is that parents advocating on behalf of their children should be prepared to suffer similar outrageous suggestions and assaults. As an advocate you need to understand your child and consider the advice from others but you need to stick your ground when you know you are right. If the course of action we demanded that day had produced some unintended side effect then we would have requested another meeting and made changes to our child’s IEP and fine tuned the support received until we found a formula for success.
The intervening years since we made those demands were racked with fear of failure and concern for our child. Fortunately the demands we made that day have worked to the advantage of our child and we are extremely pleased with the results.
The point is that parents advocating on behalf of their children should be prepared to suffer similar outrageous suggestions and assaults. As an advocate you need to understand your child and consider the advice from others but you need to stick your ground when you know you are right. If the course of action we demanded that day had produced some unintended side effect then we would have requested another meeting and made changes to our child’s IEP and fine tuned the support received until we found a formula for success.
Comments